The Disappearance of Vince McMahon

WWE Easily Dupes the World's Most Gullible People

Because they knew the audience needed an little bit of extra help and that nuance was lost on fans of corporate professional wrestling, WWE very clearly articulated their thesis in the opening moments of WrestleMania 40 Night 2 (brought to you by Slim Jims, snap into a Slim Jim, YEAH).

Stephanie McMahon, last seen on WWE television paying homage to her kingpin father despite being very aware of the heinous nature of his reign, strutted to the ring to bask in the wonderfulness of WWE’s new ruler, her husband Paul “Triple H” Levesque.

“Every WrestleMania is special for its own reason,” Stephanie told the crowd. “But I think Wrestlemania 40 might be the one I am most proud of, because this is the first WrestleMania of the Paul Levesque era.”

This isn’t, you see, the old WWE of her evil father. Things have changed around these parts, the bad man is gone, there’s nothing to see here. Federal agents can pack up their bags. Fans worried about the morality of supporting such an ethically bankrupt regime can rest easy. There’s a new sheriff in town, and by God, he’s going to allow people to sneeze and to say “pro wrestling” and to put Kenny Omega’s picture up on the television to show he’s a good fella who’s not afraid of a little competition.

(See you in Saudi Arabia!)

In the ring, Cody Rhodes finished his story, winning the WWE championship from Roman Reigns, the last pro wrestler who actually looks like an honest-to-goodness rassler and not a theatre kid who just wants to hang out with his buddies and play video games and talk about old wrestling matches they’ve seen. Long gone are the days of walking tall, of a hero facing long odds and overcoming the villain to earn the audience’s respect. Instead, Rhodes only won after seven different combatants came out to insert themselves in the narrative, including Attitude Era stalwarts The Rock™ and The Undertaker™ (in the place that rightfully belonged to Stone Cold, Rock’s real nemesis in the halcyon days when people actually watched wrestling), whose appearances were clearly built to as the highlight of the match.

They wrestled a long, intricate, mostly contact-less bout before the run-ins—but none of it meant a thing. The match was about the interference and which actual star from yesteryear would allow Rhodes to rise to the top of the sport.

The crowd, split both nights, seemed pleased enough with the outcome. It was a feeling carefully manipulated by WWE, which desperately wants people to believe they intended to supplant Rhodes in the main event with the Rock before “pivoting” back to Cody because they were willing to listen to the audience in a way the old regime never would. It’s transparent manipulation that fans and media were willing to go with. It just feels better to believe that Rhodes is an organic champion and not one carefully and systematically chosen by the WWE machine.

After a brief celebration, the ring packed with other babyface wrestlers pretending not to be mad they weren’t the ones in the spotlight, Rhodes proceeded to call out the real stars of the evening—Triple H and Bruce Prichard. Later he also kissed the ring of Nick Khan, WWE’s new senior executive.

Triple H, we were told, was opposed to coming out and basking in the spotlight, a comical contention to anyone who spent half a decade watching him open every RAW with long, meandering odes to his own greatness and another ten years subtly rewriting WWE history to make himself and Undertaker equals of the Rock and Stone Cold.

The purest of comedy.

Never mind that Prichard was McMahon’s right hand throughout his many excesses and crimes. Never mind that Khan and Stephanie both knew of the accusations McMahon would soon face and were privy to much of the information recently made public in a lawsuit—and still participated in his redemption tour. Never mind that Triple H attached himself to McMahon’s hip back when he was still an active wrestler and refused to release his barnacle like grip.

This is a new regime.

They said so.

How can it not be true?